Hmm that isn’t awfully readable. Here’s an enhanced version.
[UPDATE: This is actually my diploma from Pokemon Silver. That means I caught 251 to get this! I'll admit there was probably some Gameshark use in order to get the Mew and Celebi.]
Christmas comes this time each year
Oooooooo oooooooo
The biggest problem writers of Christmas music run into is having nothing to say. You know you want to write a Christmas song but you haven't thought of it past that. Here Brian Wilson, known for penning some of the most beautiful music of the past century and lying in bed, gives up and tells us that Christmas happens annually. A good Christmas song evokes nostalgia or hope or something. Little Saint Nick reminds us that Christmas will be here next year too.
Well tonight thank God it's them instead of you!
Welcome to my Christmas songTo be fair, Elton John doesn't write his own lyrics, Bernie Taupen does. Their relationship works thusly: Bernie spends an hour typing up a stack of papers that contain "lyrics" and gives them to Elton. Elton spends less than an hour trying to write music for those lyrics. If he can't think of anything right away he throws that page out. This is the process that results in Elton telling us that this Christmas song is his Christmas song. You can tell that Bernie's only order was, "Write a Christmas song for Elton" and he ran with it.
I'd like to thank you for the year
It's Christmas time in Hollis Queens
Mom's cooking chicken and collard greens
Rice and stuffing, macaroni and cheese
And Santa put gifts under Christmas trees
Decorate the house with lights at night
Snow's on the ground, snow white so bright
In the fireplace is the yule log
Beneath the mistle toe as we drink egg nog
The rhymes you hear are the rhymes of Darryl's
But each and every year we bust Chrsitmas carrols
I've included a much larger portion of this song because there is so much wrong. Christmas in Hollis is easily the best Christmas rap song ever, and it's cheesy lyrics are a big part of that. The song is trying it's hardest to establish that it is all about Christmas while they are desparate to do RUN DMC's usual thing. This results in out of place ryhmes like the Yule Log/Egg Nog couplet. The biggest problem I have is the completely out of place "And Santa put gifts under Christmas trees." The worst thing you can do in a Christmas song is state what happens at Christmas litterally and RUN DMC delivers that here.
You know Dasher and Dancer
And Prancer and Vixen,
Comet and Cupid
And Donner and Blitzen
But do you recall
The most famous reindeer of all?
Until now I've focused on pop Christmas songs but now it's time to take on a classic. It's as simple as this: If Rudolph is the most famous Raindeer of all, then why would you be askin if I can recall him? Conversly, since this song is what made him famous, how the heck is he the most famous of all when his wasn't yet? Clearly nobody thought this through.
Whenever I looks for music about places that I love I find songs about how much they suck. I actually like these more than songs about how great they might be. Nothing saccharin to be found in this track about your car breaking down four hours from home in Indianapolis, Indiana.
- - now to part 2 of my series on how Dallas went wrong - -
All of this led to me feeling the depression again. I did my best to be perky and excited to be there at work, but it was exhausting. When Cara and I were together in the spring I was directing Without Troy the biggest project I had ever worked on. I was at the top of my game and filled with all the confidence in the world. All of the things that made me an interesting and creatively fulfilled person had disappeared in my newfound situation. I was a commanding leader and now I relied on everyone for everything. I was an inconvenience and a burden on those around me. It was demoralizing just to be seen this way.
After going home for Thanksgiving I realized that all of the suffering I’ve been going through has largely been self inflicted. I could just as easily go back home and it wouldn’t be a defeat like I thought it would be. I wouldn’t have a steady job their either but searching there isn’t worse than searching everywhere else I’ve been. I’m happy to know that a lot of people want me to come home. People miss me.
By the time this is posted (yes I typed these out early and broke them up for the purpose of making more posts) I’ll be home. The people I talked to about going home all scoffed at the idea of missing Indiana but after reading my story I hope you understand why I miss it so much.
A lot of songs about Indiana are about prison. Something about being a hotbed for gangsters like John Dillinger will do that. Truth be told he spent about as much time in Wisconsin. He only seemed to be in Indiana when he was forced to be. Lyle Lovett’s Up In Indiana is no exception to this rule.
- - now to part 2 of my series on how Dallas went wrong - -
Jeff helped me secure an internship with AMS. I was told that an assistant editor would be leaving December 9th and that someone would be needed to replace him. I would be that someone. I spent time at AMS doing all sorts of production odds and ends. My favorite was sorting a giant pile of fake money into stacks of fake money. I was on set for a few shoots and cut together a few minor projects to show off my skills.
My plan then was to get the job, get my own place with Jeff, and eventually see if Cara and I could still make a relationship work. Every part of this plan would fall apart in front of me. Despite the work I was doing at AMS the prospect of employment was getting more and more nebulous. I did my best there, but it didn't feel like I was getting anywhere. The timeline for the apartment was slipping as my mid November move-in became a mid-December. This directly led to me spending far longer on Cara's couch than I ever intended. Which, in-turn, strained our friendship.
To understand what happened in Dallas you need to know how I got here. You need to know what was happening to me in Los Angeles. Listen to this song while reading. It's much more upbeat than my text.
Thank you Jackson 5 for setting the tone. When I was in California, after Tom left, I battled with a bout of depression. I was getting nowhere in my job search and I was feeling lonelier and more disconnected as time went on. At the same time my friend Jeff had found success at AMS Pictures in Dallas and encouraged me to come out and move in with him. He had been living with family and was looking for an apartment and a roommate. Until the apartment came through I would need a place to stay.
A month prior to this, after an interview that went well, I had the confidence to call Cara. Cara and I had dated in the spring but when I moved to California she stopped talking to me. She in the meantime had also moved to Dallas to go to grad school for singing. She's an amazing singer, that's one of the things I've always liked about her. In time I told her of the situation with Jeff. She offered to let me stay on her couch until the apartment with Jeff came together. We thought that would be about two weeks.
See you tomorrow for part 2.
Indiana wants me and I am going back there. It doesn’t fit, but still, that's the song that is always stuck in my head when I think of going home. I also had at least a half dozen songs written directly about how much the singer hates California in my head as I drove there. That worked out didn’t it? Tomorrow morning I'm leaving Dallas behind. I'll miss Jeff and Cara for sure and I'll always wonder if I could have made it work if I had only stayed longer, but this is what I need to do now. I figure I’ll miss Dallas in the same way I miss LA. I don’t miss what I had while I was there, I miss what I never got to do. LA and Dallas are great places if you do them right. I suppose that I haven't posted much about my time in Dallas in this space. As such, I’m going to post a post-mortem on my time here. Beginning tomorrow: a three part series on Dallas and where I went wrong. Stay tuned.
It took a while for the back right bumper to fall off and scrape the off ramp's gravel. We duct taped it up as best as we could. A kind man at the Pilot station fixed our lights and pointed us to a garage that might be able to fix our leaking coolant and catch what he missed.
So that's where we sat, in a New Mexican garage, Dallas still a far off dream.
Tonight we'll sleep in Midland, TX. Tomorrow Dallas will be mine.
More text corrections coming today. Less capital letters and a comma as prescribed. Some outside sources recommended dropping the painting and moving the text so we have examples of those ready. I also corrected the aspect ratio and added the soprano and alto parts at the bottom of the poster. Might not notice right away but I did a lot of work on the harp adding detail and flourishes. Be sure to click on the images to see higher resolution versions.
Tomorrow I’ll post some close up details at the 300dpi resolution I’m working at. The poster is being prepared at 10” by 15” but can be scaled up as far as 20” by 30” without much loss of detail.
My computer is crawling trying to edit this thing. I’m going to work on components and add them too it instead of working on the whole thing at once from now on. Expect subtle changes like a cleaned up skull, harp, and smoke soon.
So I as you know I’ve been searching for a job ever since graduation in the spring. This is the absolute worst time time to be a recent graduate, but this isn’t the first time I’ve been searching fruitlessly for work. The summer between my freshman and sophomore college years I applied everywhere including the now defunct Circuit City. On their 20+ page online application/exam I was asked these questions.
I screen capped this back in 2006 well before I had a blog, but I knew it would be worth something someday.
Lets run down the list. Is my stuff messy? Sure. Can I take it easy? Yeah. Do I duck school? Not really. Do I find flaws in the criminal justice maddening? That's taking it a bit too far. Circuit City, I'm glad you failed. I found your still being in operation maddening. For the record I find innocent people being convicted to be far more troublesome, but I wouldn’t ever call it maddening. |
I’m sorry for posting another Freedom Force skope. These aren’t even remotely interesting to you are they? Well I’m proud of my art! So back off theoretical reader!
This mesh is meant for hexers and skopers. It's an alteration of Lord Ehmsidy's Crymsin mesh to have a bunch of different body variations including: female_big_chest_heels, female_pants_shirt, female_pants, female_small_chest, female_small_chest_heels, female_no_mouth, female_no_face_pants. The mesh is male_basic keyframe compatible. It can be easily skoped into place on other male meshes. The standard skin is based on matrix_female_vx and c6_female_muscular. Pick it up on my Freedom Force site.
Friends and family who read this blog will in no way be interested in this post beyond how utterly weird these screenshots look.
These meshes are meant for skoping and hexing. It contains all the parts from Gni's various male_basic meshes. There are too many parts to mention. Pick them up on my FF website.
Renee Montoya became the new Question during DC's 52 series. This mesh combines a lot of sources to get her new look right, hope it's worth the effort.
Skin includes mesh and keyframes with credit given to original authors in the readme.txt file. Skin and mesh enhanced to work in Freedom Force vs The Third Reich. Skin released under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike license.
Based on a request from the always lovely Artemis, I've re-created Shadow with Tombstone's animations and guns. I re-skinned her to fit the new mesh.
Skin includes mesh and keyframes with credit given to original authors in the readme.txt file. Skin and mesh enhanced to work in Freedom Force vs The Third Reich. Skin released under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike license.
As the best best friend a person can have, I’ve been making wallpapers for Joanna’s LG Dare phone. I’ve been doing this for a long time now. Some are just resizes of pictures, and some I colored. The art is stolen from Kate Beaton, Natalie Dee, Nedroid, Dinosaur Comics, Daisy Owl, Homestar Runner, Penny Arcade, 8-Bit, Threadless, and FFFound.
Why yes, I am the best friend anyone can have. It’s true.
I’m not a good blogger. My last update was almost 10 days ago. In that time real life has kicked my ass. My roommate moved back to Indiana forcing me to find a cheaper place to stay. Not that I can afford that because I still haven’t found a job. LA is great when you can afford it, but it’s the second most expensive city to live in the United States. I’ve still been working on my Freedom Force projects. They keep me busy and creative during the down time that is unemployment. Things are looking up though. I’ve got some interviews in the future and if one works out then the move out west will be totally worth it.
I’ve got new updates running through the rest of this week. Check back every day for more Ewzzy.
I whipped up some FX to greater enhance your Dr McNinja experience in Freedom Force. Mongo vs Bee-Man.
Look at Bee-Man in that picture, he's dead now. Dying is basically all he can do. Complete your Chainsaw Ninja with this in-game FX. He'll actually be able to throw a chainsaw.
It may look like Bee-Man gets his revenge in that picture, but you know that being shot by a bee, even a big 'ol bee isn't as scary as a chainsaw attack. Make Bee-Man slightly more useful with this in-game FX.
"Ewzzy was a bounty hunter in the depression era Midwest. A chase led him out west to California to find a target supposedly entangled in the arcane. He found his target and interrupted a ceremony that would have given the target power over death. Instead, Ewzzy found himself on the receiving end of the mystical power surge. The target escaped in the confusion and Ewzzy was granted phenomenal powers. 65 years later, still alive, his target long since passed, Ewzzy uses his power to fight evil on the streets of Los Angeles."
When we first met Bee-Man we watched him get shot to death. No really it's in his first appearance. He hasn't even been resurected. It's not part of some mystical origin either. Since then we've seen flashbacks where he gets tied up by Maurice, the pompitous of love, and his gangsters of love. Can his sidekick dog, Buzz, save him?
Skin includes mesh and keyframes with credit given to original authors in the readme.txt file. Skin and mesh enhanced to work in Freedom Force vs The Third Reich. Skin released under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike license.
Mongo wields two chainsaws, often as nunchucks. This is impossibly scary. Have you considered the implications of this? Have you. Dr McNinja couldn't even beat this guy. He had to have him called off by Mongo's leader. Nobody beats the Chainsaw Ninja.
Skin includes mesh and keyframes with credit given to original authors in the readme.txt file. Skin and mesh enhanced to work in Freedom Force vs The Third Reich. Skin released under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike license.
Dr McNinja's ex-girlfriend Hortense secretly works for King Radical. Don't tell nobody. If Dr McNinja is like Batman (he wishes) then she would be his Catwoman. She operates on the other side of the law, but the emotions are still there. Weird squirmy emotions that ninja's aren't supposed to have.
Skin includes mesh and keyframes with credit given to original authors in the readme.txt file. Skin and mesh enhanced to work in Freedom Force vs The Third Reich. Skin released under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike license.
Martin Birding runs the Monster Mart chain of grocery stores. He grows into a big and purple ogre when he wants to. When he's angry or stressed out he can lose control. When Martin loses control he becomes the unstoppable Marty Monster. When he's transformed he gets dumber. So dumb that he'll sign just about any paper you put in front of him. That's a bad thing for a business man.
Skin includes mesh and keyframes with credit given to original authors in the readme.txt file. Skin and mesh enhanced to work in Freedom Force vs The Third Reich. Skin released under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike license.
Mitzi will kill you. I'm not saying that she will kill you if she has to either. I'm saying that she will be the one to kill you. It may look like cancer or a rogue meteor but I assure you that it was really her. She married into the McNinja family and has taken her role as mother to it's extremes. Her expertise are pickled beets and precisely aimed demolitions. Both are deadly.
Skin includes mesh and keyframes with credit given to original authors in the readme.txt file. Skin and mesh enhanced to work in Freedom Force vs The Third Reich. Skin released under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike license.
Gordito is a young boy who's father died in a circus accident. He wields his dead father's guns and grew a mustache from sheer will. He rides his own raptor named Yoshi. That makes him the coolest twelve year old ever.
Skin includes mesh and keyframes with credit given to original authors in the readme.txt file. Skin and mesh enhanced to work in Freedom Force vs The Third Reich. Skin released under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike license.
Sean McNinja chose the name 'Dark Smoke Puncher' as his ninja name. No seriously. He hides the fact that he is a total geek from his dad. His big brother, Dr McNinja, thinks that he is a toolbag. He wants to be a technomage.
Skin includes mesh and keyframes with credit given to original authors in the readme.txt file. Skin and mesh enhanced to work in Freedom Force vs The Third Reich. Skin released under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike license.
Dan McNinja is ashamed of you. It’s true. His son is a Doctor and he still isn’t good enough. Look at those eyes. Look at that mustache. Do you see the condemnation? That mustache has authority. The kind of authority that only a father who is also a ninja can wield. He once set himself on fire, “because they can’t grab me if I’m on fire.” Have you done that? I didn’t think so.
Skin includes mesh and keyframes with credit given to original authors in the readme.txt file. Skin and mesh enhanced to work in Freedom Force vs The Third Reich. Skin released under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike license.
Meet Topaz.
Topaz, one of the three queens of Gwendor, was teleported to Earth and went on a rampage until being recruited as a member of Ultraforce by Contrary. She can turn her skin to metal and has the powers of flight super strength. In addition to this she wields an energy staff which can powerful blasts. Her world has only women so she doesn't trust any man.
Skin includes mesh and keyframes with credit given to original authors in the readme.txt file. Skin and mesh enhanced to work in Freedom Force vs The Third Reich. Skin released under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike license.
Meet Ghoul.
Ghoul is very hard to kill, since he is essentially already dead. Only the total disintegration of his body can permanently kill him. His limbs, if torn off, can be reattached or, in time, grow back. He does not feel pain and is immune to disease, poison, and radiation. Ghoul can communicate with the spirits of the deceased, even those who have been dead for tens of thousands of years. He can, in some cases, also sense a person's imminent death.
Skin does not include Mesh or Keyframes. Skin is used with Gni’s Question Mesh available here. Skin enhanced to work in Freedom Force vs The Third Reich. Skin released under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike license.